


cavalier

by youcouldmakealife



Series: it's a setup [11]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, YCMAL 'verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24794344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcouldmakealife/pseuds/youcouldmakealife
Summary: “What are you, the fucking Men in Black?” Joey asks.“We’re your bodyguards,” Trigger says, sliding his sunglasses down.“No,” Joey says. “You aren’t.”“Oh, but we are,” Trigger says, then slides his sunglasses right back up.
Relationships: OMC/OMC
Series: it's a setup [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669567
Comments: 22
Kudos: 313





	cavalier

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings at the end.

Joey’s anxious, walking into the airport for their flight out to San Jose. It’s stupid. San Jose is literally hundreds of miles away from LA, and Zach’s not going to bother driving there when the first time he’s talked to Joey since he went pro — unless leaking nudes counts as talking, and Joey doesn’t think so — was the long-distance version of a two AM ‘u up?’. 

Zach’s not going to be in San Jose, or Oakland. He probably won’t even show up in LA. Joey knows that.

Joey feels like he’s been having a constant panic attack since he got the message, and he has no idea how the fuck to stop it, because logic isn’t doing anything.

Joey’s checking his app for messages — stupid, he blocked Zach, what, does Joey think he’d make a burner account just to try again? That’d imply a level of giving a shit about Joey Zach isn’t capable of — when Scratch and Trigger stroll in looking like ridiculously stupid twins in black suits and skinny ties and sunglasses. Sunglasses. Inside. During winter.

“What are you, the fucking Men in Black?” Joey asks.

“We’re your bodyguards,” Trigger says, sliding his sunglasses down.

“No,” Joey says. “You aren’t.”

“Oh, but we are,” Trigger says, then slides his sunglasses right back up.

“Nick,” Joey snaps.

“Trigger, can go get us coffee?” Scratch says. “Tea for Money. With honey if they have it.”

Trigger obediently trots away. Joey still has no fucking clue how Scratch completely domesticated a giant feral goalie.

“I know you think this is like, funny or something,” Joey says. “But it really isn’t—”

“I know it’s not funny,” Scratch says. “Fuck, Joey, I was with you when that shit leaked, I know—”

“You don’t!” Joey says. “You don’t know, okay? I know you like, empathize, obviously you do, but you don’t know what it’s fucking like to be outed to thousands of people all at once, and to have them all see your _dick_ , and to embarrass your fucking family, and to feel fucking betrayed because you spent literal months of your life head over fucking heels for a dude who is apparently willing to do that to you, to make you feel like that. This isn’t a fucking — dress up —”

He shrugs Scratch’s hand off the first time it lands on his shoulder, slumps into it when Scratch tries again.

“Sorry,” Scratch says. “I know it’s not funny, Trigger just — I know it’s not funny. I’ll fucking kick Zach’s teeth in if it helps?”

“You going to jail isn’t going to make me feel better,” Joey says.

“Pft,” Scratch says. “You say that like athletes ever face actual consequences for breaking the law.”

Joey bites down a smile.

“I saw that, Money,” Scratch says. 

Joey bites it down harder, fails when Scratch pokes him right under the ribs, where he knows Joey’s ticklish, cringing away, trying to protect himself.

“Sorry,” Scratch repeats.

“No more bodyguard shit,” Joey says.

“No bodyguard outfits,” Scratch says.

Joey narrows his eyes at him.

“Dude, I hang out with you all the time anyway, and if he just so happens to show up when I’m there, I _am_ going to tackle him,” Scratch says. “And I think that’s pretty much the job description of a bodyguard.”

“You don’t even know what he looks like,” Joey says. The profile picture for his account was something more shadow than anything, pretentious super artsy shit. The only reason Joey knew it was him was because apparently he’s got Zach’s actual profile memorized, even years later, could have been able to tell by the angle of his cheekbones and the curve of his mouth alone. Which is a depressing as shit thought.

“So I tackle anyone suspicious,” Scratch says.

Joey snorts.

“You don’t believe me?” Scratch says. “Because I will do it.”

“Hitting people off the ice is a felony,” Joey says.

“Is it a felony?” Scratch asks. “Or is it a misdemeanor?”

“It’s a felony,” Joey says. “At least in America, I don’t know what the shit your country does.”

“Is it?” Scratch repeats, and he listens to _way_ too many podcasts in his spare time, and a disturbing number of those podcasts are true crime ones, so Joey suspects Scratch is trying to get him on a technicality. “And Canada doesn’t even have felonies, they’re indictable offenses.”

He says it with this prim ‘so there’ flair, looking proud of himself. He probably learned that from one of his stupid podcasts. He’s such a nerd. How’s Joey the one who gets the college boy cracks? Other than the whole — going to college for a year thing. It’s probably that.

“Don’t do crime,” Joey says. That’s broad enough, right?

Scratch makes a non-committal noise.

“Don’t do crime, Scratch,” Joey says.

“Fine,” Scratch sighs.

*

Joey looks up assault later, in the privacy of his hotel room, so Scratch can’t look over his shoulder and laugh at him. On incognito, obviously, because he’s not an idiot.

Stupid Scratch is right. It’s a misdemeanor. Well, if it isn’t like, aggravated. Which Joey suspects it would be if Zach got anywhere near Scratch. Or, fuck, Trigger. Trigger is a man who is without a doubt capable of murder. He already has his scary murderer nickname and everything, plus a whole ‘Boy Named Sue’ chip on his shoulder. Joey called him his actual name once. It is a mistake he will never make again.

 _How’s California?_ Owen texts him, followed by, _Jealous._

 _I think Scratch might be going away for felony_ Joey starts, then deletes the word felony. With the way Owen knows everything ever, he probably would know Joey was wrong too. _assault. or possibly murder._ Murder is definitely a felony, so there Scratch. _we’ll see how the week shapes up. it might be Trigger going instead_

 _I’d assume this was hyperbole but you never know with your teammates._ , Owen texts back with a thoughtful emoji.

 _oh it’s definitely for real_ , Joey texts, and within a minute his phone’s lighting up with a call from Owen. So Joey guesses they’re people that talk on the phone now? Which seems like a big step, but maybe Owen talks to all his friends on the phone and it’s just big to Joey, who talks on the phone to his family, and — well, that’s it. Scratch during the offseason, but that’s typically facetiming. Everyone else he just texts.

“Hey,” Joey says.

“Why are your teammates plotting assault and/or murder?” Owen asks, sounding amused. And, Joey will admit, it probably would be amusing from the outside.

“Well,” Joey says, drawing it out more than he means to.

“Oh, this is going to be good,” Owen says.

“I had this really shitty ex,” Joey says. “And he kind of leaked nudes of me to the media last year.”

“What?” Owen says, amusement replaced by shock, so Joey guesses Owen’s never googled him, because that’s unfortunately very much in the search results for his name, despite the best efforts of Joey’s agent and the Scouts PR team, thanks to the magic of cached images or whatever. Well, unless Owen’s got safe search on. But one of those seems more likely than the other. No one has safe search on.

“I guess you’ve never googled me, huh?” Joey asks.

“What?” Owen repeats. “No, why?”

“Uh, just. Don’t,” Joey says. “I mean, unless you want to see my dick.”

Owen’s quiet, and Joey realizes that sounds like the weirdest fucking come-on in the history of ever, so that’s a good addition to this already awful day.

“Sorry, that came out all weird,” Joey says quickly. “Obviously you don’t want to see my dick.”

“Not _pictures of your dick leaked without your consent_ ,” Owen says, aghast, and that is like, objectively the perfect response but some part of Joey still has hurt feelings because all it heard was ‘I don’t want to see your dick’. That part of him is stupid. “Oh my gosh, Joey, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Joey says. “Well, no, it fucking sucked, and was like, the worst day of my life, but the guys were really good about it. Maybe — too good about it? My ex sent me a message a few days ago asking if I wanted to meet up when I was in LA and now, well —”

“Scratch and Trigger are threatening to beat him up,” Owen finishes.

“Scratch and Trigger are threatening to beat him up,” Joey confirms. “And they’re like — idiots who have forgotten that just because they’re allowed to fight on the ice—” Well, Scratch is, Trigger’s never had his chance, but everyone knows he’s itching for his first goalie fight, “—doesn’t mean it’s not kind of illegal off the ice.”

“So I’m guessing the threats aren’t just posturing, then?” Owen asks. 

“Oh for sure,” Joey says. “Scratch one-hundred percent means it. He’s just — he was there when it all happened, you know? He had to call my mom to tell her for me because I couldn’t like, even speak, stuck around when I didn’t leave my apartment for days, saw how fucked up I was about it, and I guess he’s a little protective of me? I dunno.”

“For the record, I don’t condone violence,” Owen says. “But I can see where Scratch is coming from. Fuck your ex.”

“Yeah,” Joey sighs. If the situations were reversed he’d be happy to tackle someone on Scratch’s behalf. There wouldn’t have been stupid bodyguard dress-up, though. That’s all Scratch. And Trigger. Well, it was probably mostly Trigger. He’s a weird one.

“Are you okay?” Owen asks. “I mean, of course you’re not, but — if you need to vent or something I’m totally willing to be the ventee.”

And apparently, Joey needs to vent. Not that he hasn’t vented since he got the message from Zach, he’s vented to Scratch, and he’s vented to Casey, and they were both Team Joey and supportive, but Scratch is straight and Casey — Joey’s pretty sure Casey isn’t interested in anyone, and that it’s less that she hasn’t found ‘the right person’ as mom says in a carefully gender neutral way — it was ‘the right guy’ until Joey came out, so he appreciates the change — but that she just isn’t interested, period. He is patiently waiting to be Supportive Sibling about it if or when she wants to talk about it, the same way she Supportive Siblinged him both when he came out to the family and in the aftermath of getting very publicly outed, and until then he’ll be Silently Supportive Sibling. 

But it’s different with Owen, who actually _gets_ it. Not the specific situation, obviously, Joey is the lucky winner of that very specific and horrific scenario, but, Joey doesn’t know, it’s the little things as Owen listens. He’ll say ‘ah’, but at points, but it’s an ‘ah shit, I feel you’ and not an ‘ah’ of ‘I am active listening’, especially when Joey mentions that only his immediate family and closest friends knew before the leak, outside of a few guys he’d fucked around with in high school, college, Zach being one of them. That ‘ah’ from Owen has a wince in it.

Maybe it’s the difference between sympathy and empathy? Owen gets what it’s like to come out to your grandmother, obviously, since Maggie’s literally the reason they met, and yeah, that wasn’t in the form of _dick pics_ , presumably, but still. The only guys Joey’s known who like guys, well — he knew that from first-hand experience. It’s different, with Owen. 

“So, yeah,” Joey says lamely. He doesn’t even know how long he’s talked. Way too long, probably, but Owen hasn’t interrupted him once, other than those ‘ah’s that felt more like punctuation.

“Shit, Joey,” Owen says.

“Yeah,” Joey says, because that about sums it up.

“I really hope he doesn’t show up,” Owen says.

“Me too,” Joey says.

“Do you?” Owen asks, like maybe Joey’s voice gave something away that he hadn’t noticed.

“I—” Joey says. “I really do? Except it’ll mean—”

He doesn’t know. There’s nothing he wants less than for Zach to show up, and not just because he knows it’d lead to a scene if Scratch or Trigger are there, but at the same time —

“That he didn’t bother?” Owen says when Joey doesn’t say anything, and yeah, maybe that’s it. ‘Hey dude, how’re you doing a year after I blew up your entire life? I didn’t actually want to see you, I just wanted to remind you that I still exist in this world, being a shitty person, as if you could have forgotten’. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Joey says. “That—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Owen says, when Joey gets all choked up. “It’s okay, Joey.”

“Thanks,” Joey manages finally. “Sorry, I’m being—”

“Don’t apologize,” Owen says. “Seriously.”

“Okay,” Joey says. “Can I say thanks again?”

“Sure,” Owen says with a laugh. “But all I did was listen.”

“Still,” Joey says.

“Tell Scratch and Trigger not to commit any felonies,” Owen says, and it’s right on the tip of Joey’s tongue to tell him they are not, in fact, felonies, but it’s a dumb fact and also murder is definitely one. Still, he feels better about not knowing that now that he knows Owen, Knower of All Things, doesn’t either.

“I’ll do my best, but Trigger doesn’t listen to anyone,” Joey says.

“Except Scratch, you said,” Owen says. 

“True,” Joey says. 

“If you need to vent more or anything,” Owen says. “You know you can call me anytime, right? Well, I might not answer if I’m in the middle of a class or something, but I just mean — I’m here for you if you need me, Joey.”

“You too,” Joey says. “Not that I’m implying you’re currently going through a secret personal crisis, I just mean—”

“I get it,” Owen says with another laugh. It’s such a nice laugh. Joey thankfully manages not to say that out loud. He feels better when he gets off the phone, even better than that when he sees Scratch and Trigger have changed out of their stupid outfits. They bracket him on either side at dinner, but that’s not that unusual. Usually Trigger’s glued to Scratch, not Joey, but since Scratch and Joey are generally around each other, Trigger tends to at least be Joey adjacent. There are no surprise Zachs at dinner, which is to be expected, and afterwards Scratch trails him like a duckling — or a stupid bodyguard — to his door.

“Wanna watch something?” Scratch asks, trying for casual and falling way short, since he’s practically tripped over Joey’s heels a couple times on their way down the hall. Joey doesn’t even think Scratch’s room is on his floor.

“I mean, probably better than you standing outside my door like a bouncer,” Joey says.

“Maybe I just want to watch something with my friend Money,” Scratch says, expression all injured dignity. It’s fooling no one, but Joey’s probably just going to turn on Netflix anyway, so it’s not like it’s changing his plans.

“Yeah, yeah,” Joey says, and Scratch actually trips over Joey’s heels as he follows him in. “You going to case the joint? See if there’s anything suspicious?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Scratch says as he literally circles the room. 

“Think there are any bugs?” Joey asks. “Zach’s hiding in the shower?”

“Pick a show and shut up,” Scratch mutters, and Joey grins at the back of his head as he not so subtly peeks into the bathroom to check.

**Author's Note:**

> TW for: mostly joking discussion of physical assault, completely joking discussion of murder, ongoing depiction of a past abusive relationship, revenge porn, and forced outing.


End file.
